Thank you & Sorry

I guess these days, I can never say enough of the Thank you & Sorry.

Thank you my friends for all the concern.
Thank you my dear Jason for giving me the space, time and still love.

Sorry for making my friends worry.
Sorry my dear Jason for all the hurt I bring you.

I am running of strength to piece up a story. A story was long told and now I am just left with incoherent confusion.
After bearing myself once and total, I dont know if I wanna do that again. The clearer I am, the more pain I bring to Jason. I couldn't bear to tell him in face but him reading here, hurts no less.

It's not easy mentally to bring myself going through my daily activities with a normal self. All I wish is to be alone for good so perhaps I can cry without thinking.
But now..what is there to cry?

I dunno what would this bring me, seriously.
Suddenly I have an urge to have my fortune told, do tarot reading or whatever. At least tell me what is gonna be happening, at least a clue to my future. That is how lost I felt.

Jason, I know I dont make you feel good.
I dunno how long am I gonna do so and what will I do eventually.
I really wanna be alone for a long while. You have been understanding and I hope (and I know you will) you can understand this.

I am so sorry and really, I really thank you too.